Why Letting Go of the Past Can Be Crucial to Achieving Success

As human beings, we constantly search for clues to explain the situations and events that affect our lives in a way that displeases us. When success is stilted, plans derail, or things just don’t go as we expected, we mine for evidence to explain the course of events. Most commonly, the first place we go to look for that evidence is our past. However, not letting go of the past can leave you frustrated, unfulfilled, and lacking confidence.

It’s a slippery slope. A visit from your past can take you from the top of the world to completely defeated in the blink of an eye.

You’ve undoubtedly heard yourself and others say “If only [fill in the event] hadn’t happened, I’d be fine”, or “If I hadn’t messed up, I’d be more successful.” We beat ourselves up, telling ourselves that we should or should not have done something, that we should have done things differently, or that certain circumstances have left us with difficulties today. Inevitably, we end up berating ourselves to the point where we lose confidence and belief, and we start to feel helpless and hopeless. Our mood, feelings, and performance fall flat and it becomes a constant struggle to get through the day. With our initial thoughts reinforced by impaired performance, the cycle begins again and we remain stuck and trapped. We procrastinate, react, and avoid for fear of making a mistake, making a ‘bad’ decision, or being judged by others.

Frighteningly, this process can take as little as a few seconds and can become entrenched far too easily.

But what if you could change your past? What if you could rewrite your story?

You can.

You can change your past because it exists only in your mind.

I know, it sounds crazy. But bear with me! Because once you wrap your mind around this, it will make a massive difference to your confidence, self-belief, and performance.

Your past is in your past. It isn’t here today. It’s gone. It’s done. And therefore, it can’t possibly affect anything that is happening today or anything that will happen tomorrow. Because it isn’t real. It’s just a memory; a thought. All you have in the moment are the thoughts you are thinking. If you’re thinking about your past now, you’re thinking about it in the present. Therefore, it’s the present, not the past. It isn’t the events of your past that affect you. It’s the thoughts and stories you tell yourself about your past that eat away at your resilience and self-belief.

So what if you changed the stories? Imagine having a rock-solid belief that your past has nothing at all to do with your present or your future. It will set you free.

Here’s how to do it.

Accept that your past happened exactly as it was meant to.

You know it did because it happened. There’s your evidence. If you try to fight with your past, you’ll lose every time. Because you can’t change it. It’s done. So avoid trying to rehash it or rearrange it. Just leave it where it is and accept that it happened as it was meant to. However, this does not mean that your future is pre-defined. It isn’t. Your future is for you to decide.

Release your painful past.

Whatever events you’re attached to, simply release them into the abyss of your history. If necessary, write the event on a piece of paper and burn it. Not only is this symbolic, it has intense psychological effects on your ability to let go.

Redefine your past.

You have a choice. You can be a victim or a survivor. You can believe your past defined you as a victim, or you can believe it made you strong. I’m not referring to PTSD or severe abuse (those are very different cases). I’m referring to the people who look for evidence in their past to explain their present. That’s the majority of people! When you choose to be a victim, you’ll find evidence in your past to support that view. When you choose to believe you’re strong, capable, and worthy, you’ll find evidence to support that too; often from the same source. Whatever stance you choose to take, you’ll find evidence to support it.

Set goals and work towards them.

To shape your future, you need to know where you’re going. Define what you want your future to look like and set goals that will get you there. Think big and bold. Avoid censoring yourself – that happens when you’re living in your past. Go crazy and set goals to achieve the life you want to live, and achieve the success you want to achieve. There is nothing to stop you when you shake off the stronghold of your past.

While this all sounds ridiculously simple, living in the past remains a constant for many people. Once you learn to let go and retell the story of your past in a way that serves you, you’ll be stronger, more resilient, and more confident. You’ll be free to plan your future and achieve things you never thought possible.

You’ll be unstoppable.