“I’m so sorry. I can’t do it anymore. I’m a loser and a failure. There’s no hope left. The darkness finally wins after 3 decades of fighting it. I’m tired. Goodbye. Love you all.”

This was the suicide note posted by a Facebook friend on the 6th of February 2019 at 6:44 pm.

I wasn’t surprised, to be honest. I had seen his mental demise slowly unfolding for months. Through Facebook posts, he often complained about not selling in his business, and how he felt hopeless because he wasn’t making any money.

Whenever I did a Facebook Live on sales tips, he would watch and leave comments about his struggles with sales. I tried my best to help and give him the necessary advice. But it wasn’t enough. I should have reached out and at least offered a free coaching session.

So, you can imagine the nausea I felt when I read his suicide post recently. I became a bit hysterical. All his past posts about not selling and how he was a failure started appearing in front of me. Guilt consumed me, because of course I thought, why didn’t I do more? Why didn’t I see the signs? But worst of all, why did I judge him?

After messaging his wife and several people who knew him, I was informed that he was okay.

This is not the first time I had seen a person fall into depression or suicidal thoughts because they weren’t selling either at work or business. I’ve also seen jobs lost because of bad salespeople taking companies out of business. And this is one of the reasons that I believe in my heart and soul that learning both sales skills and sales mindset are essential. It’s the reason why I do what I do.

Also, Sales is a stressful occupation. In a survey by online career database PayScale, the role of Sales Account Manager was rated as the second most stressful job. About 73 percent of respondents rated the role as “highly stressful.”

Now, depression is complex. In the end, it’s not caused because someone is not selling or because of a bad boss shouting, but these are trigger events that can set off someone to execute their suicide plan.

I would highly recommend that if you’re feeling like this, to reach out to friends, family and most important see a therapist.

What I can offer from my end are some sales mindset tips that can perhaps minimize stress when not selling.

1. Accept and Embrace rejection

Constant rejection can take a heavy toll on our state of mind and self-esteem. Salespeople and new entrepreneur’s experience of rejection is amplified. So, it’s critical to look at it from a removed lens. Understand that rejection is part of the job, and even embrace it. Recognize that it’s not us they are rejecting, but the need for what we have to offer. My advice is simple. Use rejection as a chance to build your resilience. As my Selling for non-Salespeople business partner, Michael David Chapman says, “Develop your resilience muscle.” Use it as your opportunity to practice mastery and get better.

2. Focus on the Daily Activities

Focus on the activities that will reap your sales results. Too many people focus on the outcome and don’t have a plan on how to reverse engineer their sales success. When we are too fixated on the results, what ends up happening, is our mind goes into stress mode and freaks out. Create daily prospecting habits that will reap the rewards. Plan out all sales activities, from your outbound calling, following up, email messages, marketing, social selling, and meetings.

3. Listen to Mind feeds

Believe it or not, they do help. Some people believe that they are short term fixes. This all depends if you use them consistently to condition your mind to stop ‘bitching and moaning’ at you daily, then you will begin to see a change. At the end of the day, for 20 to 60 years of your life, perhaps you’ve been talking down to yourself, and this does affect your self-esteem. I once met a sales rep on my sales course who was super confident. When I asked him to share with the group his secret, he told us that when he was 16 years old, he was suicidal and had zero self-esteem. The psychologist got him to stand in front of the mirror daily for 6 months and tell himself how amazing he was. After 6 months, he said that something shifted internally.

4. Identify the Impact that you Make

Salespeople and entrepreneurs create a huge impact. They are the ones at the forefront of the organization growing revenue and creating jobs. They are making a huge impact and affect many people’s livelihoods. If they are selling a valuable product or service, then this can essentially be life-changing. Whether it’s health-wise, more time, or helping someone’s sanity. I’ve even heard of salespeople who had sold a service that saved someone’s marriage because it helped the buyer save time and spend more time with family.

5. Develop Mastery

When we feel confident in our abilities, it creates less anxiety. One of the ways you can develop confidence is through becoming an expert in your field. As my SMA Sales Mastermind APAC colleague John Smibert says, “I wanted to be the most switched on ” In his early years selling, his goal was to be three steps ahead of everyone else, so he learned everything about selling as well as becoming the domain expert in his customer’s own industry. John became a trusted adviser who helped clients with unique insights, rather than another desperate pushy salesperson.

6. Create a Daily Routine

This could be in the morning or night. Start off by writing a gratitude list, visualizing your perfect day, and review daily goals. On Sunday nights, reflect on the past week. Write out your WINS and LESSON LEARNED. Also, plan your week ahead. It’s vital to develop a routine. Schedule each day in blocks from the moment you wake up, make breakfast, go for that run, and pick up your children up from school, until you put your head down on the pillow. Measure your schedule in 30-minute increments. Doing this will set you up for success.

7. Move and Breathe

I can tell you from my own personal experience that when I’m working on a major project for 16-hour days, and have not moved my body, I can fall into a depression. When this happens, it affects my sales. So, moving our bodies is critical. Even if it’s walking for 20 minutes a day or doing some basic stretches. As for breathing, did you know that your body is designed to release about 70% of its toxins through deep breathing? Breathing also increases pleasure-inducing neurochemicals and is known to have a calming effect for those who suffer from anxiety and stress.

Lastly, if you want to get better at selling, it’s critical that you invest your time and money. If money is a problem, there are hundreds of thousands of sales videos and articles online for free. Don’t just think because you have the gift of the gab and you know your product well, that you can sell. Sales is an art and science that takes time to master. I’ve personally seen people go from bad sales reps to sales superstars in just under 6 months because either their organization invested in their training and coaching or they took the personal initiative to learn how to sell.

Also, please take care of your mental health, which is so important. Work on your personal development and do all you can to build a strong mindset. Please do reach out to friends and family. If necessary, there’s no shame in seeking therapy. And finally, if sales is too stressful or you’re in a toxic work environment, then do reconsider your career options.