Of all the things salespeople face in their day to day work, rejection is one of the toughest pills to swallow.
A great day can fall apart at the hand of rejection. You know the feeling. You head into your pitch feeling confident and determined, and you leave feeling beaten down, exhausted, and deflated. And the more rejection you experience, the tougher it is to pick yourself up and head into that next call believing you can actually close the sale.
Irrespective of the circumstances, rejection feels intensely personal. Even the most resilient of sales professionals can be derailed by repeated “No thanks”, “Not now”, and “I don’t need [insert product or service]”. Rejection can cause people to give up, play small, avoid risk, and leave their jobs. It can be the poison that ends enthusiasm and determination, and even careers.
I distinctly recall a sales representative I hired from a different industry. She had a flawless track record, and she was smart and highly capable. She was full of vim and vigor, but within a few weeks she threw up her arms in despair and was convinced the new industry wasn’t for her. She was adamant she’d made a mistake and was set to run back to her old job. This dramatic reaction, known as catastrophizing, was caused by repeated rejection from her new customer base. Accustomed to gaining access to her customers easily, this high-achieving professional nearly threw in the towel after hearing “Not today’” every day for her first few weeks. While she believed she couldn’t function outside her familiar environment, nothing could have been further from the truth. It was simply a matter of time. Once her customers got to know her – which didn’t take too long – she delivered outstanding results consistently. But rejection nearly got the better of her.
This story isn’t unique. It’s one of many reminding us that salespeople are, like the rest of us, human beings. And all humans are hard-wired to seek approval and acceptance. During our early years on earth, isolation generally meant death. So we sought out groups to increase our chances of survival. And no matter how successful people are, they remain subject to the human condition. Despite the fact that we have evolved in numerous other ways, many primitive instincts remain; seeking approval and acceptance being one of them.
This can pose a challenge for sales professionals. The hard-wired fear of rejection can lead even seasoned professionals to shy away from situations where rejection is possible. This is especially true where rejection has occurred previously. Interestingly, even the prospect of massive returns often isn’t enough to lure a jaded professional into a high risk/high returns sales situation. Humans fear loss far more than they value gain, so the fear of rejection – rather than the prospect of returns – drives the action. Steering clear of situations where rejection is anticipated, showing up in a timid, almost apologetic way (or not showing up at all), avoiding risk, and under-selling are common consequences brought about by fear of rejection. The implications to the top-line are obvious. Rejection can limit potential, kill self-belief, and can damage careers and organizational performance.
So how can sales professionals learn to live with rejection without it affecting their lives and their work?
Simply, by taking control. And then taking action.
When faced with rejection and the subsequent feelings of defeat and deflation, a cup of strong coffee and some introspection is in order. “They said no: What will it take to get to yes?” is the one simple question that can immediately shift thought patterns from believing the rejection was a personal attack, to accepting it as part of the sales process.
It’s not rejection itself that causes people to give up. It’s the feelings associated with rejection brought about by the meaning assigned to it. Thoughts determine feelings, and feelings – in turn – determine actions. Therefore, when thoughts change so do feelings and actions. In an instant, people can go from feeling beaten down, deflated, and defeated, to feeling determined, creative, and in control. It’s hard to carry on, push through, and work on solutions when feeling beaten down and deflated. But there is abundant energy in the presence of determination and creativity. Rejection has power only if power is assigned to it. Remove the power, and rejection is depersonalized. The need for acceptance and approval disappears, giving way to clear and creative thoughts and determined and decisive action.
Conclusion
If this sounds startlingly simple, it is and it isn’t. The concept itself is simple and proven. Putting it into practice takes effort and time. And it’s worth the investment. In sales, rejection is one of those things encountered on a daily basis. But master the art of removing its power, and rejection can become the fuel that drives sales success.
